Well. I thought I would write an update, even though the update is, that there isn’t an update. We became a “waiting family” 28 days ago (or something like that, math is not my forte). I am not sure how people wait years and years and years for their adoption. I have already found myself refreshing my inbox, impatiently waiting for some news to arrive.
But we have been lucky.
Many times in adoption, you wait and you don’t hear anything. We have already seen two “situations”. Situations are what they call information about expectant moms. (I had a friend say they should be called opportunities, I agree that would be a much better word, but for whatever reason, they are called “situations”.) When you get a situation you have a few hours to a few days to decide if you want to present your profile book to that mom. If you say “yes” that mom receives about 5 profiles to look through to decide who she wants to raise her baby. (Can you imagine making that decision based on a book?!) After she looks through the books, you get a call if she picked you and you get a text if she didn’t. It’s quite an emotional rollercoaster. We were told not to present our book unless we are SURE that we would say yes if she were to choose us. The situations give us a range of different information, it tells us about the expectant mom, what her life is like, some medical information, when she is due, if it’s a boy or a girl and what the costs will be if were to “match” with that mom.
We have seen
two three “situations” so far.
When we got our first situation, it was early in the morning, I was asleep and Josh was studying in the front room. I woke up to a crazy noise coming out of his mouth that I have never heard before. He came running in, with his computer in hand saying “check your email!”
Josh jumped in bed with me and we read through four pages all about this beautiful expectant mother. We cried through reading her story, and we were so surprised that we received a photo of her. To be honest, these stories are not easy to read, they are actually heartbreaking. Full of loss, hurt and short-comings but filled fierce bravery – wanting what is best for their little one. It’s crazy how emotionally attached you become to their stories. We felt honored to even read them. And it’s hard to share their stories when friends and family ask because you want to hold them with such care, it doesn’t feel like our story to share.
Josh and I prayed but ultimately decided not to show our profile to either of them. I know that someone opened those two emails, and said, “yes, this is it.” and that gives me comfort. These two women have definitely been filling my thoughts and my prayers.
And now, we continue to wait.
The waiting is hard fo me. I am such a busybody and it was hard to move from the busyness of the paperwork and profile making, to the slow pace of waiting. But in the waiting I have found space to dream and just be. I continue to feel peace that when the time is right we will know, and that there is so much going on behind the scenes to bring our story together with our sweet birthmom. She consumes my thoughts, I catch myself praying for her in the midst of my daydreams often. Praying that she is experiencing joy in that moment, or that she is laughing, or finding comfort.
Another great part of the wait has been connecting with so many adoptive families and waiting families. I have found that they are my people. They are strong and vulnerable, they are brave and scared, they are driven and they are fearful but they all have one thing in common, they have grit, they do not give up, and they depend on each other. I am so thankful to go through this road with them.
So the news is there is no news, we are soaking up quiet moments at home together, while a mamaRoo (whatever that is!) sits empty in the living room, we continue to pray for the little one that will soon be joining us.